Headache
by linkschick
Summary: A Story Of Alucard Visting Me In My World For A 'Vacation'....O GOD! NO! MOMMY! Anyways let's see what can go wrong with him here....everything! i say EVERTHING! Oh Did I Forget It's For Two Weeks! Ohh How Will I Live!...DON'T ANSWER THAT ALUCARD!
1. Vacation?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing, If I did...that would be cool. Well for me that is. The only thing I own would be me, myself, and I...and maybe some other stuff...**

Michelle: Yes like it say peoples.

Alucard: Hurry up Girl.

Michelle: Fuck You!

Lisa: Mich, keep going.

Michelle: Fine! Whatever...fucking tree hugger...

Alucard: What!

Neko: Hahahaha! Alucard's a tree hugger

**_Headache Part 1._**

**Poke.Poke.Poke.Poke**. No movement.** Poke.Poke.Poke.Poke.** Still no moving. **Poke.Poke.Poke. **"STOP...**FUCKING**...**POKING ME!**" She yelled, grabbing the metal bat and swinging it around. Dunking has fast as he can, and running out of the room laughing as crazy as he gets. (A/N:Or even more . ) "...Stupid...Blood...Sucker...Bastard...Son Of A Bitch...Fucking Alucard..." And the cuss word keep going on and on. "God, How does he get in-...nevermind...I know..." Getting up from her bed and going to her bathroom to get ready for the day...yayy...dammit...

Well I guess you want to know how this all happened right? Well it is a long story, but if I must then I'll tell it. One freaking raining afternoon, of fucking bordom, my friends and I (A/N:_Meaning: person who's writing this of course_._ And who it's happing too._) Were just doing nothing much in my room, which had a lot of band posters, video games, manga's everywhere. Sitting on the computer char was me(Michelle.) My friend Lisa, was sitting on the floor drawing like always and Don't lie, you do draw to much Lisa.

My other friend Neko, Real name Jessica was reading a manga on my bed laying down, last but not lest my friend Merry was looking at what was on tv. (A/N:_Which was nothing much_.) "Hey look at this." said I, pointing at the computer. "What is it?" Merry ask still looking at the tv. "Hahah! I remember this! It when we keep taking those at the park at night when we went to that party, like kept running around taking pictures." Lisa said in one breath, then started laughing. "Let's see do you have the one were we kept slapping Bryan?" Merry asked taking the mouse and started searching for the picture.

I just got off of the char and let Merry sit on it. "Lisa are you ok?" Neko asked Lisa who was still rolling on the floor laughing her little ass off. I, of course looked at her weird, shaking my head and leaving the room to get something to eat. Well walking from the door way and in to the hallway, I felt this creep and crazy feeling, like someone was watching me. Creepy in enough, I think hellz fucking yes. Just to brush the though off, and just keep going to the kitchen. So then I grab a few bags of chips (A/N:Doesn't matter chips are chips, right?) Started to walk to the froth door to make sure it's lock, which it's. Not.

Creepy feeling back. Oh-uh. That's bad right? So then I lock the door...now. And begin to walk back to my room, while this is all happing, I'm thinking _'Well, is it going to turn out like one of those horror movie where the girl get's rape or get's knifed to death.'_ I think not...If I do think at all..which I don't...I would hope not that I don't die yet. I mean come on, I am 15 years old. I should at lis die at age 16 or 17 years, don't you think.

Good age to die. (A/N:_My Sarcasm is getting the better of me.) _Or time... Whatever..Well yeah, walking to the door, and opening it And falling on the floor on top of Lisa who is, I'm not surprise is still fucking laughing her little ass off. "Michy, get off of em." Lisa says pushing me off of her and on to the floor.

"Owwie." I think I cut myself on the metal part of the bed. I started to lick, and suck on my hand were I cut myself. (A/N:_You know, the part were you put your feet at._) And all at once. _GASP! _From all tree of them.I think it became cold in here more. "Mic-Michelle...Don't...T-Turn...A-Around..." Merry got off of the char and grabbed Lisa and Neko, by the hand and pulled them to behind her, while I was left standing (_Sitting_) on the floor.

"What's wrong?" I asked, and is about to turn around when. "MICHELLE DON'T!" Merry yelled "Just don't do it, and just get up slowly, and grab my hand." Merry let out her hand, I looked at Neko and only to see her wide eyed. Lisa was hiding behind Merry grabbing on to her shirt.

"What's wrong? Why do look like you seen Bryan do the party boy theme song dancing naked?" (_Eww._) Merry reach under my bed and pulled out my metal bat that I have just incase.(_Don't ask._) "BACK SATAN, BACK!"..._What?_...So Then I turned around, and I wish I hadn't too, cause right behind me was one of the greats vampire hunter, and also vampire. Alucard of Hellsing. He just keep liking at me, it send chills up and down my spine. He started to reach in to he's duster, and being to pull, Merry think _HOLY CRAP GUN'S!_ Began to swing the bat insanely at him, me of course had to go to fidel position. "Put the bat down human." he says, pulling out a letter.

A letter? What the hell? "What's that for?" I asked come out of the position, and sitting up, looking at him. "For you, my child." He said grinning, and handing it to me. As I was about to take it, Merry got it before me. "Yea, right. Your gonna take Michy away from us just about when were reading it. Well you know what? Never gonna happened buddy. YOUR NEVER TAKING HER AWAY FROM US!NEVER! SHE WELL BE A VIRGIN!" Merry yelled, swinging the bat his way. "HOLY FUCK!" I had to duck away from the swing, started to craw to Alucard. (A/N:_Come on who would you be safer with. Creepy blood sucker or Crazy girl with bat. For your informs I chooses Mr. Creepy any day_.)

I hugged his leg scared as fuck at Merry, he looked at me and smirked. Lisa started laughing again, Neko just looked from Merry to Alucard and too me. "Merry put the bat down, he's vampire. He can kill you before you can say Bryan is a fag." Lisa started laughing on the floor more then before. "Fine, then Michelle come here right now." Merry said pointing to her side, I started crawling again, but just about when I was about be in the middle of Alucard and Merry, I was pulled. "There, now read the letter my master told me to give you." Alucard had picked me up and set me down on the bed. "Fine, big red." I grabbed the letter from Merry and opened it. Merry and the others, but Alucard sat behind me reading as well. "Hmm."

All I can say for now, the letter says.

_To Miss Michelle Amber Martinez,_

"Hahaha Michelle middle name is Amber!" Lisa laughed. "Shut up Lisa!"

If your reading this, please forgive Alucard for, well being Alucard. His is there to take a vacation is your world, for to much hunting FREAKS. And he need's to see what it's like to be human and normal.

Normal? Like I'm normal. That word makes me sick to my tummy.(A/N:Hahaha I said tummy. Alucard: Keep Going! Me: W/e) I mean who want's to be normal, when your having some much fun being crazy, and weird. Whatever dude._Well I just hope he doesn't cause to much trouble for you, for he be staying with you for 2 weeks. Don't worry about his hunger we becked some medical blood becks for him to 'eat'. So please help him, stay inside when the sun's out, and make sure he doesn't kill no one._

_P.S If he seems to be very close to you at any time. Just tell him I have a bullets waiting for him when he get's home._

_Sir Integarl Wingates Hellsing_

"How...sweet of...her..." Merry said twitching, and moving from bed to floor still holding the bat. "Michy is a babysitter now?" Lisa asked, looking at Alucard to Neko, and then to me. "Don't think about it as babysitting, more like having a little fun." Alucard said, then laughed. All of us, but Alucard, left the room, and ahead to the front door.

"So you wanna walk there or call your boyfriend?" I asked Merry, as we all sat down in the bunch under the tree. Once we got outside it has stop raining. "I'll call him." Merry took out her cell phone and press speed dial and started to talk to her boyfriend (A/N:Ohhhh Merry) "Where are we going?" Asked Lisa who was sitting next to Neko, "The happiest place on earth." I said fixing my hair.

"Disneyland?" Asked Lisa who was getting happier and happier by the minute. "No, the mall silly ninny." I said finally putting my hair out of my ponytail. "God even with out Alucard here, and I mean he only been here for what 5 to 10 minutes I got a headache oh ready." "Maybe it's from the ponytail." Neko said poking Merry who was done talking to her boyfriend. "Maybe, so what time is he coming?" "In about 10 minutes. So do we have all of our money really?"

And then the awkward. For about 6 minutes. "**Son of a Bitch!**" I yelled, I forgot my wallet that was next to my computer. "What are you going to do now Michy?" asked Lisa, giving me an awkward look. " I guess I could run in and grab it before he try's anything." I said putting my hand to my chin, thinking.

If I do at all. "Why don't you just walk in and take it, and walk away. It's not like he going to stalk us. He hates sun light." Merry said looking in her cell phone, reading a text message. "Merry have you seen the anime or readed any of the manga's? HE COMES OUT OF NOWHERE!" I yelled, jumping up and waving my arms. "Just like you, Michy. Remember when you scared your mom when she got home from work." Neko said looking around. "Like I really want it to scare her. I didn't mean too!" I yelled in her face, I didn't mean to scare her. It just happened.

_Flashback_

"God! This is boring." I sighed, god nothing to do when you go home early from school. Did my homework, done cleaning my room, washing the dishes.

"Me so hungry.." I moan, I need food badly. I jumped up from my bed walk throw the door to go to the kitchen for the hunt for food. Must find food, must eat.

"Umm it a good time to do a misson impossible right now." I said giggling, like the crazy little girl I am. I when down on the floor, crawling on my hands and knees. I flip sideways next to the door that is open, and did a cartwill to the table. Crawled under the table, went to the chair, and sat down."Wow that was the shit." I laughed, it was when I always do that i would fall on my back or my face. I grabed a apple, and took a bit out of it. Yummy. A sweet apple, yayy! I love apples, there so good.

So there I was just walking behind the door, to look out the window. ohh I see mom's car, she's home. I look at her walk throw the door. I walk behind her and "Hi Mom!"

"Ahhhhhhh!" she's screams, and turned around "Michelle what the hell do you think you were doing? You Almost gave me a headattack!" she yelled.

"I'm-m s-sorry mommy. I didn't mean too!" I yelled holding my head and hoping nothing going to be throw my way.

_End of Flashback_

Michelle: That was funny

Neko: You need to stop scaring your mom.

Michelle: NEVER! it's so much fun

-Alucard comes out of nowhere-

Alucard: Hello.

Michelle:AHhhhh!O.O

-runs off-

Alucard: What I do?O.o

Neko:-.- Nevermind, well she's gone, hope you liked chapter 1. Chapter 2 well be on next week.

Alucard: Hey where did she go anyways?

Merry: I think she went home.

Lisa: Nope she didn't

Neko: What makes you say that?

Lisa: We were all at her house right now.

Merry and Neko: O.O

Lisa: Bye People!


	2. Plan's

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing, If I did, once again that would be cool. Only me and myself and I. And my friends own themselfs. **

Michelle: I'm Back! Back Again!! Michy Back!! Tell A Friend!! -does the moogle dance-

Alucard: ...What Is Wrong With You?...

Lisa: GO MICHY GO MICHY GO GOO!!!

Neko: For All Of You Don't Know Michelle Is Called Michy Or Chelley. Or Just Mich.

Merry: ...

Michelle: Ohhh Yea!! Here's I Goes!!!

Alucard: ...

Michelle: And also thanks for the reviews, and a very special thanks to my friend Lisa and my other new friend, Riley Killer, for making me feel a hole lot better. THANK YOU, YOU TO I LOVE YOU!!!...xD...it's the sugar...

Merry: Why am I not surprise...

**_Headache 02 _**

"And that's all dammit!! I yelled, in Neko's face. "You did it for your own sick reasons!!" she yelled back!!! "Nah ah!!" I yelled back "Michelle just go get your wallet." Merry said laying on the table. "I'll go with you, Michy." Lisa said getting up. "Yea Lisa we-...What?"

"I'll go with her." Lisa said again getting a awkward look from all of us. "What?" She asked, crossing her arms. "Are you crazy?" Merry asked, breaking the silence. "I don't think so, why' d you ask?" Neko and I twitch for some reason, I don't know why...yea..

"Fine, fine then come on." I say, walking away, Lisa being her little 6th grader self.

"WAIT FOR ME!!!!"

"Huh?..Ahhh!!"

"Sorry Michy.."

Had to run, and not stop.

"...Owwie..."

"Hahaha that shit was funny!!"

"Shut up Merry!!"

"Make me idiot!"

"Them's some fightin word!!"

"Being it on, Michy!!"

"Stop it you guys are scaring me!!"

"Your both scaring Lisa, now stop it."

I push Merry off of me, for she was on top of me. While I was pulling her hair, she was bitting my hand for me to let go. I got up with Lisa's help, while Merry got up with Neko's help. I glared at her, she did the same, like hell i don't care.

"Michy?"

"Yes Merry?"

"Me so sorry!!"

"Oh god Merry, Me too!!"

We hugged, I can't stay mad at her, same for her, we love each other that much. Were best friends. After me hugged, "Now, let's go get that walet from that insano king!!"

"Does he even have it?"

"I...don't know."

Silence once again.

"..Oh god.."

"That's what she said."

"Michelle, shut up!"

I laughed with Neko, Lisa look confused as ever. "..Ah..Huh?", Looking toward Merry, Neko and me. "I don't get it."

"Lisa, how old are you?"

"15, why?"

"Ohh ok then...hey an't you older then me by, what like 5 or 6 months?"

"Yes, why?"

"..."

"NOW TO THE WALET!!!"

So it took us a few try's to just to get it right for the plans, one was to throw rock's at him, for me to grab my walet. Two, was for me to glomp him, while Lisa runs for the walet. "Wait, wont he hold on to you?"

"You bitch, you ruin my plans!!"

"Wait is the plan for you to get your walet, or glomp him?"

"SHUT UP LISA!!"

Plan three, was to walk in and just take it.

"...That's it?.."

"..A..yea.."

"Then what about rest of the plan's."

"Idiot, there's only three."

"...Oh.."

"So which is it then?"

"A...how about we vote?"

"Ok, vote for number one."

Merry hand went up.

"Number two."

My hand when up.

"Why am I not surprised."

"Shut up..."

"And number three."

Neko, and Lisa's hand went up.

_Mean while in My room._

"Hmm...what is this?" While he was picking it, and reading the title, "Doom Mook number 1?" Going throw the pages,and finding a good spot to read, "Let's see what this child is really like?"

_To: Neko,_

_Bryan's a slut, he didn't call me like he said he would._

"Well...that's very nice of her..."

_So he's a slut like Lisa ... I'm bored now ... Matt's gay (because i said so...) and there's no way you can pick up a tank...Or can you? So what time are we meeting at the mall? Where do we meet at? Is the sky blue? Why is it blue? why do we hit Bryan? Is it good to hit him? If so why?Why am I asking you this? I'm I crazy? Is it bad? Or is it cool? Why is Alucard hot? Is-_

"Hot I am? She think's I'm hot?"

"BE ME WANT'S TO GLOMP HIM!!"

"NO!!"

"Why are those children aruguing about?", This better be good...

_Mean while back outside._

"WHY CAN'T I GLOMP HIM?"

"CAUSE I SAID SO!!"

HONK HONK!!

"Get your little ass in the car right now, or I'll leave!!"

"Oh look Merry...your boyfriend's here.", Neko pointed out, "Michelle go get your walet, or well leave you here with Mr. Insano."

"..Fine...then be that way.." I was saying, walking away from them.

Walk. Walk. Walk. That's all I bein doing for awhile now, Walk. Walk. Walk.

Walk over there. Walk over here. God...WALKING SUCKS!!!...

_"It is good for you..."_

...Huh...

_"Now your confused arn't you, awww you look cute with that face. Do it more offen."_

...Who the hell are you?..

_"Well you should know me... You do think i'm.. 'Hot' after all...Heh heh.." _

..Ohhh My God!! Nuuu! How did you get in my head?!?!

_"Somtimes how you children say it..the internet..but I just can...I am The No Lif-"_

Life King, yes I know who you are Mr. Vlad.

_" The name is Alucard child."_

I am not a child, damn it. I am a teenager.

_"What I seen in and read in your little book...I think not.."_

Well what I know about you I'm surprise you think at all, when you ripping, shooting, and killing FREAKS..

_"Heh well I do have to think for doing that, child."_

Stop calling me that, I'm not a child god damn it!

"Michelle hurry up and get your walet, just standing there in the middle of the kitchen fighting with yourself or something, come on I'll come with you." While Merry grabbed me and pulled me, passing the livingroom and going throw my door. There he is... reading..a book.. GOD MY FREAKING GOD!!! MY DOOM MOOK!!! "HEY!!! DON'T READ THAT!!!"

"But it's very interesting.."he smirking, looking up from my book, " And it's very interesting on how you think I'm once again Hot."

I blushed so much, my face got so red. I think as red as his eyes. "..Hey..shut up..." I can't face him, I have to look down. Must. Not. Look. At. Him. Blushing. Does. Not. Help.

"If you have an ass I'll kick it. So leave her alone."

Walking toward my walet, "Come on Merry Leave go." Grabbing it, and walking away while pulling Merry with me by the back of her shirt, she keeped trying to kick, hit him.

"NEXT TIME YOUR ASS IS MY INSANO!! NEXT TIME!!" Merry yelled while shaking her fist at him.

Is this was an anime I would have sweatdrop.

Same for walking toword the car, "...Well you got your walet now..you did wanted your walet..anyways..."

I twitched, "Shut. Up."

Michelle:...Vader is not pleased...Vader is sad now...

Neko: Is it because you didn't update in time or because you didn't glomp him?

Lisa: It's both. -.-

Merry: Next time I well kick his ass...

Lisa: What is with you and people's ass?

Alucard: Yes? and why mines?

Merry:...DIE!!!

Michelle:...

Lisa: Vader says see you next time yo..

Neko: You mean Michelle.

Lisa: Yes Vader..

Neko: But..

Lisa: VADER SAYS SEE YOU NEXT TIME!!! AND SORRY FOR UPDATING LATE!!

Neko & Alucard:...


	3. Shopping Nuu!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing, If I did, once again that would be cool. Only me and myself and I. And my friends own themselves.**

Lisa: Where we left off at...I… forgot…

Merry: Were Alucard finds out that Michy thinks he's hot X3...

Michelle: ...So...

Alucard: Yes, that was very interesting, I may say.

Michelle: Shut. Up.

Neko: Well you do think he is hot.

Michelle: Neko what the hell?

Merry & Lisa: XD

Alucard:...

__

**Headache 03**

"So...what happened in there?" Lisa asked putting on her seatbelt, Merry got into the front, it was Neko on the left, Lisa in the middle, and me on the right, in the back. "Don't ask, just don't... ask... ok he found out that I think he's hot."

"So..." Lisa stated looking out the window as the car started to move, "So, is that all you can say? I bet when I go home, right when I go toward the door, he gonna start making fun of me."

"If he does, call me…. and I'll be over there faster then you can say Bryan is a fag." Merry stated looking at me.

"Thanks Merry." I felt like crying right now, I know Merry would do anything to make me fell better. Well not anything…anyways…. just to me feel better. She the one you can count on if anything happened, "Michelle, are you ok?" I turned and looked at Lisa replying, "Yeah, I'm fine."

And then there is Lisa, the innocent looking girl. Who by the way, looks like a 6th grader, because of the way she dresses. Sweet, innocent, and a little weird at times...ok, all of the time. She loves to draw and write stories. And she gets hyper off of crackers... next there's Neko, a gamer just like me, an anime freak like me too. And love's Kingdom Heart way… too much. Ha, like I'm one to talk, I love Zelda way……. too much as well.

"What me to buy some sliver thing's and when we get back, I can throw them at him?" Neko asked grinning at me.

"Uh….no that's ok Neko, you don't have to do that. Thanks anyways." Yeah...she can be a little crazy, but not as crazy as me.

_**"I'm not leaving your little head just yet, child heh heh." I heard Alucard say.** __Oh great, you here in my head, why can't Sephiroth be in my head or Cloud? No it has to be you... do I really what Sephiroth or Cloud? Well for once, Sephiroth would be running on and on about mother, and the planet. And Cloud, would just be quiet...What do you want?_ I growled back.

**_"Where are you going?"_**

_To the mall, you know where human's hang out with each other. You wouldn't like that._

**_"I see, so I have to wait, for you to come back? Hmm I guess I can always finish reading your little book anyways, and see what else you think of me._****_" _**

_Whatever, I don't care anymore, read on insane-o._

**_"Oh were giving nicknames I see, ok then how about I call you Chelley? That's a good name from me to you."_**

_You're not allowed to call me Chelley, the name's Michelle._

**_"Well Chelley, I am waiting in your room for you, heh heh until you come home, I bid you a good-bye."__That bastard...he. Will. Pay...later on...to lazy to do think about hurting him... Ahh...ha..._**

"Michy, we're here come on. Let's go look around." Lisa had to pull me out of my head; it's a good thing too. "Michy come with me please, Merry and Neko left all ready, please?!?!"

"Lisa, I don't plan on leaving you alone anyways. Where do you want to go first?" I replied.

"Umm... Game Crazy..." Her eye's went wide, that's so cute.

"Sure Game Crazy it is. Let's go then." I say grabbing her arm, and pulled her toward the video game store...which is...up stairs. Crap more walking...Ahh we're there now..."Hey, look Jak 2, remember Lisa. Jak?" I say, laughing about the title. "...Jak's...hot..." Was all I could get out of her. "Yes I know, but Link is hotter."

"Nah ah, Jak is!!" She replied in an argument tone.

"Nope, Link is waaaaay hotter then Jak, sweetie." I stated grinning.

**"I thought, I was hot."**

"No!! You're back again!!" I cried.

"Michelle who are you talking to?" Lisa asked curiously.

"..Ahh...no one..." I said looking around, everywhere. People are looking at us. Some girl, I guess a little older, then stopped and looked at me weird. "What the hell are you looking at?" She glared right at me, and I think she whispered "Bitch" and than walked away. "Yeah, I know your mother is."

"...Ok...then, oh Michelle looked what I found, look, look! Devil May Cry 3." I grabbed it from her, "Oh My Fucking God!!" I love this game so much than…… well not as much as Zelda, but yeah. Dante is way hot too.

**"And what about me?"**

You're hot too.

**"I know, you think I'm hot. But in your book, it says I'm the only one for you."**

_Well I said that about all of the guys, I think that are hot, Alucard_

Suddenly out of nowhere, Killing Loneliness by HIM started to play. I loved that song. "Michelle I think Merry's calling you." For sure it was Merry, "Yes?"

"Michelle, I found this cute skirt you just love." I sighed; I thought it was something important.

"That's it?" I asked.

"And a few shirt you'll love too, sweetie." Lisa looks bored, I was too.

"Hey, Lisa let's go for a walk down stairs, Merry found skirts." I muttered bored.

"Oh god!!! Nuuu!!"

"Lisa... are you crying?"

"This are tears, of pain Michy." I sighed once again, oh god not again, please tell me not a freaking again. Every time, were here she want's us to try something on that makes us look girly. No Never Again!!! Never A Freaking Again!!! 

"Come Lisa we still have to go."

"No!!" She grab on to a pole, " If I'm going, your going with me!!!" I pulled as hard as I could, "Come on, Lisa we have to go!! There waiting for us!! Neko is there too remember!!" I guess after I said Neko, it check in her head.

"Oh...I forgot about Neko, fine I'll go but she get's to feel pain with us then!!"

"...Hmm sure..." Thank god, I thought I had to pull her off of the pole in front of everyone, hope that doesn't happened again.

"Don't cry Lisa..."

"Shut up!!"

Lisa:...Don't remind me dammit...

Merry: It's not that bad

Michelle: Yes it is, last ti-

Merry: Shut up Michelle.

Neko:...God..that poor pole.

Lisa: Shut up!!

Michelle and Alucard: See you next time...-.-...


End file.
